In this relational episode, Bill Barnett, CEO of Smarter Minds Network, shares how he has leverage the power of meaningful relationships to build multiple wildly successful business across industries from film to ed tech. If you’re a founder who wants to learn how to get more done with less effort by building powerful relationships, you want want to miss this episode!
You will discover:
– The strategic relationships
– The single biggest quality in building relationships
– Why you need to unlearn everything you know/believe about networking
Episode Transcript
Scott Ritzheimer
Hello, hello and welcome. Welcome once again to the secrets of the high demand coach podcast. And here with us today is yet another high demand coach in the one and only Bill Barnett, whose distinguished career encompasses the entertainment and communication sectors, with significant achievements in television, film, radio and digital technologies, with a track record as CEO and President of over a dozen companies. Bill possesses deep insights into the psychology of business networking, the art of strategic relationship building, and the nuances of effective communication. His expertise includes identifying and capitalizing on investment opportunities and fostering entrepreneurial ventures. He’s also the author of the book smarter minds recruit and leverage others for sustainable success, and he’s here with us today, Bill, welcome to the show. So excited to have you here with us. In your book, it struck me kind of right out of the gate you make a statement to the effect that we need to forget everything we know about networking. Why?
Bill Barnett
Yeah, thanks. It’s great to be with you. Scott. You know, I think that people in the past thought that that networking was all about stockpiling names, all about putting as many people as much quantity as you can probably possibly get. And I always say that that networking is not transactional, it’s personal. I use an example when people go into interview and they say, oh my gosh, there’s a whole bunch of interviews. I say, Do not go in just to interview. Go in to become friends with that person, to have conversation with that person, to let them know who you are as a person, and that’s how you stand out. Networking is not about transactions. It’s about forming a relationship. And I think if people go in with that mindset, they’ll be much better off in the long run.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah,I think one of the fears behind that is like, what if it’s not reciprocated, right? And then we let that get in the way of of the advantages of it. So how, like, I want to play that out a little bit. You go in, you’re looking for relationships. Someone’s stuck in the old way, right? They’re in this transactional mindset. What are some, maybe tips or tricks that you found of breaking them out of that mold and then connecting together?
Bill Barnett
Yeah, so I think the most important thing, and we’ll get into it with with, I’m sure, as the conversation evolves here, but a somebody that is a true relationship builder talks about the other person first. Somebody that’s a networker talks about themselves first. And I love when I’m talking to somebody, when I’m interviewing somebody, or if somebody’s coming to me for money, for an investment in one of their companies, I want to know that they’re interested in me. I want to know that there’s something about me that they are interested in, and that’s why they want to be involved with my relationship. I speak a lot at colleges and universities, and one of the first questions I ask, it’s kind of funny, and they get little surprised when I ask, is that, how many people looked me up before we came in here? How many people know something about me. And I would say, maybe a third of the people raise their hands, and I would say, You know what? I’m not asking you because I care about me or because I have an ego. I’m asking for you because you need to know everything about that person before you’re going in. What if there’s something what? I have a company that you’re interested in working you’re interested in working out? Well, if you knew something about it, you can grab me after the session. You can email me after and say, Bill, I know that this is one of your companies. I’m very interested in being part of that. If you don’t know anything about me, you can’t ask these intelligent questions. So it’s really to know and engage about the other person put their interest before your interest?
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah, I love that. I love it. So let’s just keep going down that road. So we walk into a meeting. Let’s say it’s your local Chamber of Commerce event, or something like that. I don’t know what it is, but you walk into a situation has the the ability to go transactional, all over the place, but you want to make a change. What’s a great way as a as a relationship builder, as opposed to a networker, to introduce yourself or open the conversation?
Bill Barnett
Well, I think the way I always like to start off is with something unrelated. I always try to break the ice with something that’s completely unrelated to whatever it is I’m trying to get. So if I’m trying to accomplish something in a in a board meeting, let’s say, or if I’m trying to sell something, I don’t, I don’t come anywhere near that for the first part of the conversation. I Oh, if I know something about that person, if they went to school, or if they grew up in the city I’m in Los Angeles, did they grow up in LA or what? Are some common things that could bind us together, and then it gets us completely off of the tension filled why I’m there or why you’re there. So if you can make it a personal conversation, unrelated to whatever is you’re trying to get it automatically is an icebreaker, and that’s the thing you want to do. You want to break. The Ice make somebody come off their pedestal. You know, whenever I go in, when I’m looking for money or I’m trying to get something from somebody, I will talk about something that, that I know is of interest to them. I’ll find out about their career, about something that they did, if they have kids. When people go into interview, I don’t mean to divert too much air, but when people go in for an interview, I always say, look at the office that you’re going into. Is there anything on the walls? Do they do they ski? Do they play tennis? Is there anything on there that you can relate to, that you can bring up as soon as you go into that kind of a conversation, it goes away from the questions they’re going to ask automatically, a sheet is whipped off of you, and you have a different kind of a conversation. I make everything personal, everything.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah, I love that. So, in your book, you’re writing about network easy. I’m a firm believer in opening the door to everybody, but very selective about who I let come through it. How does that work?
Bill Barnett
So, you know, we all have just so much bandwidth. There’s just so much everybody can take in. I think that if you’re an astute person that understands personalities in people, you can tell within five or 10 minutes if that person is when I say on your level, I don’t mean higher or lower, but are they of the same wavelength that you are? Do they have the same values? Is it somebody that you think that you could provide mutual benefit to? They can help you, but you also can help them? So I think that there’s, you know, you meet a lot of people. I talk to literally everybody, and I have a quick story that’s a great story. Years and years ago, my wife and I, with two other couples, went to a very nice restaurant in Beverly Hills, and the waitress came over, and she was as friendly as you could possibly be. And she and I struck up a couple little conversations. We talked about the wine, we talked about and she and I said, Listen, Courtney. I said, you have an incredible personality. You I’m sure you do something other than our waitress. And she goes, Yes, I’m a photographer. I said, you’re kidding me. I said, meet my wife, who was right next to me. I said, she’s an event coordinator, and she event producer. She puts on big events anyway. Long story short, this is 25 years ago. She has become my wife’s lead photographer, and was the photographer at both of my daughter’s weddings. Yeah, that is a relationship. That’s where that came out. She recommends people to my wife when they’re rep, when they’re looking for coordinated producers, and my wife uses recommends her all the time when people are looking for photographers. That’s how it started. It started over the fact that she was a waitress and we became kind of friendly, joking about other things. It led into a long, 25-30 year business relationship.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah, I love that. So there’s this interesting dynamic that happens as founders succeed, right? You start off and like you’ll just you anyone who will talk to you like you’re just trying for you’re trying to find any opportunity for someone to talk to you, let alone say yes. Well, as you have some success, as as you know, that starts to build. That shifts a little bit. You start having folks come to you, and then you actually have to learn the skill of saying no. And so what struck me was both the dual nature of that statement is, hey, let everybody in. I’m sorry, not let everyone in, but open the door to everybody, but don’t necessarily let everybody through it. What’s that look like when you know you feel that pressure for folks competing for your calendar?
Bill Barnett
Yeah, so that does happen. And you know, I’ve been fortunate in that. I’ve had some companies of size, and so if I feel that that there could be an open door here, but I don’t have the time for them, I will usually make an introduction to somebody else in my company, and they will manage or handle the relationship. But I spend a lot of time connecting with what I call referred connections. These are people that have come to me through other people that I know and that I trust, right? And those are the people that I kind of have the closest relationship with. I already know these people because of somebody else. I trust these people, and I like to know that they you know, when I don’t know if you’re into sports or not, but there’s an age old adage, do you pick the person that’s right for the position, or do you pick the best available athlete? I pick the best available athlete. Yeah, that person may not fit a hole at that particular time, but I know that that person is going to hit a fit a hole in my life at some point. And so I cultivate those types of relationships, I pick the best athlete available.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah, I love that. So what does this look like digitally, right? So many of our introductions now are digital. What? What kind of nuance does that bring to the equation?
Bill Barnett
Yeah, so I, you know, I don’t know if this is a good thing to say or a bad thing to say, but when I when people connect. With me. The first thing I look at is, how many connections do they have? I noticed people in I’ve hired, I’ve hired several PR or marketing people over the years, over the last, you know, let’s say, 10 years since LinkedIn has been a big thing. And I go to a LinkedIn and I see somebody’s got 162 connections, and they’re big in marketing PR, well, how big in marketing and PR can you possibly be if you only have 162 connections? So those are little things. There’s little tidbits that you can get about people that see if they really are connected. And then the next thing I look at, because I have a fairly wide net that I cast, uh, how many of these connections do we have that we share? And then what I do is I go to see from these people, and I’ll call them if I’m hiring somebody, say, What do you think about this person? So it’s kind of a referral based network that I use, but it’s so important to know that the person that you’re connected with is also connected. When I hire people, it’s the first thing I do. How many connections does this person have? And if I see that they’ve got a lot of these connections, then I’ll say, Okay, this is the kind of person that I want working with me.
Scott Ritzheimer
I love that. I can’t imagine that many people have taken that leap. But I mean, how advantageous would it be? Yeah, I love that checking for the number of connections before hiring. So is there, is there anyone, any industry, any position, that shouldn’t be investing in relationship building?
Bill Barnett
There’s not a single person that I have ever met in my life that should not be investing in relationship building. It’s, it’s the, you know, humans, our species is a connection, relationship, type of species. We need to be with people. We need to talk to people. You need people in your life. You may think you’re a solitary person, you may think you’re an introvert, but I’m telling you, everybody needs somebody. You need somebody to talk to. You need somebody for to help build when you’re when you’re going through a tough time, somebody to talk you through it, or if you’re writing too high, you need somebody to say, look at here’s, here’s what I would recommend. I don’t I think it’s the single most important thing is to be able to build relationships. And the single biggest quality in building relationships is to be likable. You know, a lot of people think, Well, I’m good at this. I’m good at this. It doesn’t matter how good you are at something if you’re a not a likable personality. I’ve had a couple of people during my career that were extremely talented, but they just didn’t get along with the other people in the company. They may have been the most talented people that we have, but they did not get along if you’re not likable, if you’re not somebody that other people want to be with, not just in a work environment, but in a personal environment. It’s probably not going to be good for your long term success. So if there’s one little piece of advice that I can give, is to be likable.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah, what is that? Because it can feel a little nebulous, like everyone knows when they like someone, right? But I like how to be more likable. Can can be a little mysterious for folks. What are some practical ways that we can do that?
Bill Barnett
Yeah, I think the way that I have become the most likable is by showing interest in other people. People love to talk about themselves. You know, I think that’s an age old adage that everybody knows people. So if you really want to be involved with this person, whether it’s on a business level, a personal level, a relationship level, show interest in the other person. Start talking about the other person, because that’s something that anybody, whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, feels comfortable they know a lot about themselves, and so start talking to them about something they know about and that they care about. And if you start with them as the as the subject matter, you’ll go the relationship will go a lot further.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah, yeah, that’s so good. So when it comes to particularly like the founders that are with us, business leaders, there’s there’s networking, there’s relationship building, but then there’s like being strategic about it. I remember there was a local CEO, fantastic relationship builder, and he was actively looking for for real estate agents, because he knew in the next three to five years, they were going to be buying a property. And just like at the time I heard about this, I was in my mid 20s, something like that was totally foreign idea to me, you know, like it just blew my world. I’m an introvert the whole the whole nine yards. And so it led me to this question that I have for you, that is, how can we be more strategic? What should we be thinking about to really direct our networking activity?
Bill Barnett
Right. So one of the things that I talk about in my book, and I talk about whenever I speak, is building your personal board of directors. Your personal board of directors are people that you trust. I always say, pick who you trust, and then trust who you pick. So. Make sure that the people on your board of directors are people that truly do have your interest in mind. They care about you as a person. They care about you as a friend, and they if you build a board of a personal board of directors, then you can go to them to say, listen, here’s a strategic idea that I’m thinking about, or a group that I’m thinking about getting involved with what do you think about it? And then what I do is I don’t just run it by one or two people. I’ll run it by a half a dozen people. And usually, at the end of those half a dozen people that are my board of directors, I put together a story that I know makes sense. I rarely, even if I feel I’m very good in something I rarely revolve you know, go on my own thoughts. I say, what is it that you guys think? Because you’re smarter than me, that’s why you’re my board of directors. You have more experience than me, that’s why you’re on my board of directors. What do you think? So what I do is I put together their thought complex, and I say, how does it fit in with what I’m doing? And that’s how I make my final decision. I rarely rely on my own knowledge.
Scott Ritzheimer
Wow, that’s right, it’s like there’s take me to my next question here, and that is, we have this, this tendency to kind of think of the world and things of in terms of what we know and what we don’t know, right? I’ve like for the life of me, cannot remember the capital of Vermont, you know, sorry, Vermont, but it’s like, I know that, but there’s this whole realm of the world that I don’t know, I don’t know, right? And I think that’s one of the most powerful things about networking, especially in this idea of a personal board of directors. Why is it that we so dramatically underestimate what we don’t know we don’t know.
Bill Barnett
Yeah, and I got to tell you, it’s, it’s, it’s a that’s a great question. It’s probably the best question that anybody can ask. But I have found swimming downstream is a lot easier than swimming upstream, and by getting the help from other people in your life, you will be always swimming downstream. I always rely on when I’m building a company. My last company was called like live, and it was a platform for kids all over the world that couldn’t afford to fly to colleges or universities to interview. So we came up with a platform for kids to upload their interviews that would attach to all of their grades, their essays, all of their admissions information. And I could not do that myself. I am the good 30,000 foot idea person, but I needed a person that knew colleges and universities. I needed a person that was a finance person, and I needed a person to handle the back end as far as the technical end. I hired all those people, I brought them in as partners, and we became a very successful company, if you embrace your liabilities, it is the most freeing attitude that you could possibly have. You know what? I’m going to relax. I’m not going to fight that that war. I’m going to hire somebody else that will help me fight that war. And for him, it’s not a war, because it’s or her, they know what they’re doing. So I put together a team that all we and I do that with all of my companies. How can you help me swim downstream? Yeah, and that’s, that’s how I work.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah, contrast that with the if it’s to be it’s up to me, right? That mentality and, yeah, it’s a really significant trap, I think, especially for competent folks, right? That, like, what Proverbs says something to the extent of C of you know someone who thinks he’s smart in his own eyes, right? And and so I love the the humility and the openness of that. I think it’s so powerful.
Bill Barnett
By the way, that humility, what you what you bring up right now, it opens doors to relationships when people know that you’re honest about what you’re good at and what you’re not good at. It completely opens up relationships. And people want to work with you. They see that you have humility. They see that you don’t always have to be the best. You don’t even when I had my own company that I’ve had several of them, I don’t walk around saying I’m the boss. We’re doing it my way. The first thing I do is I say, I want to hear your opinion. I want to hear how you feel. We should handle this. Yeah, and they, they feel like they’re they’re part of the team. They feel like they’re part of management. And that’s what I want. That’s the environment that I want to cultivate.
Scott Ritzheimer
I love that. I love that. Bill, there’s a question I ask all my guests. I’m eager to see what you have to say. The question is this, what is the biggest secret you wish wasn’t a secret at all? What’s that one thing you wish everybody watching or listening today knew?
Bill Barnett
I would say it has kind of been the theme of what our conversation that embracing one’s own liabilities or weaknesses is the key to success. It’s the key to long term success. I don’t care about being the smartest person in the room. I care about being the most likable person in the room. I care about the fact that I want to take advantage of how smart all of my board of directors are to help me succeed. Because you know what, I’m going to be a cog on their board of directors. When I can help somebody else succeed, I feel just as good. It makes me feel great. I have a couple of friends that have built some really big companies and. A couple of those companies, I’ve been instrumental in making introductions to other people that have helped them succeed. I need them to do that, but I want them to do it because they want to do it for me. Yeah? And I do it for them because I want to do it for them. So be likable and embrace your liabilities.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah? So good. So good. Bill. There’s folks who want to learn more. Where can they get a copy of their book, your book, and where can they find more out about you?
Bill Barnett
Yeah, so my, my website has all the information on all my social is on there, smartermindsnetwork.com, you can buy my book through my website, or it’s on Amazon, or any major bookseller. It’s, it’s, I think it’s something that people will kind of get a lot out of.
Scott Ritzheimer
I love that. Bill, thank you so much for being on the show today. Just a privilege and honor having you here, and for those of you watching and listening, you know your time and attention mean the world to us, I hope you got as much out of this conversation as I know I did, and I cannot wait to see you next time. Take care.
Contact Bill Barnett
Bill Barnett’s distinguished career encompasses the entertainment and communications sectors, with significant achievements in television, film, radio, and digital technologies. With a track record as CEO and President of over a dozen companies, Bill possesses deep insights into the psychology of business networking, the art of strategic relationship-building, and the nuances of effective communication. His expertise includes identifying and capitalizing on investment opportunities and fostering entrepreneurial ventures.
Want to learn more about Bill Barnett’s work at Smarter Minds Network? Check out his website at https://www.smartermindsnetwork.com/ and get a copy of his book Smarter Minds: Recruit and Leverage Others for Sustainable Success https://amzn.to/3XmFdKA
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